TERROR HOTTIES

Brace yourselves, o my terror hotties readers, because this time we’re going across the pond for a sweet shot of terror hottie in The Summer of the Massacre.

Jeannette James, Amanda Formon, and Emma Horsley team up along with a host of other solid casts to bring us a rather standard horror flick about four teenagers taking a quick shortcut across the English countryside. Their time-saving excursion is rapidly turned into a bloody beatdown as the foursome finds Black Wood, home to the infamous Ed Craven, otherwise known as Hammer Head because of his distinctly shaped headgear. No, I’m just kidding—it’s never that interesting.

Read more »

An entire pack of terror hotties align themselves to bring us Puppet Show, a movie that proves that the circus is just in general a bad idea.

Erica Slider,  Nina Tepes, Lavelle Claiborne, Celena Hiasashi, and Carrie French all comprise the terror hottie segment of the cast list, and when you find what they’ll be landing neck-deep in, you might be scared but for all the wrong reasons.

Read more »

 (Gillian Shure)

I’m not all that sure what to think about Dead and Gone, coming out on video in just a very, very little while now.  On the one hand, it’s packed with a laundry list of terror hotties that includes, just for starters, Felissa Rose and Gillian Shure.  On the other hand, it has Kyle Gass of Tenacious D playing a minister.

The synopsis is…well…let’s just call it bizarre, because I think that’s going to fit the best here.  Basically, an actor takes his wife to a cabin in the woods because she’s dying and he barely knows what work is.  The cabin is all they have left, and he’s left to take care of the woman who until not so very long ago kept him in high style.

Read more »

(Paydin LoPachin)

Part of a growing list of Dimension Extreme titles is Triloquist, which is, of course, a movie involving ventriloquism and those really creepy dummies.  Now, ventriloquist dummies have been a staple of horror since The Twilight Zone used one to such great effect way back in the day, and this time, Triloquist will prove to be no exception.

Paydin LoPachin and Katie Chonacas offer up the terror hottie joy this time around as, basically, a ventriloquist with an obligatorily creepy-looking dummy kills herself with a drug overdose while her two young children watch.  Bad enough, but the two kids and dummy are sent to live with a perverted uncle, who will end up just as dead himself.

Read more »

(Amy Smart)

Paula Patton, Erica Gluck and Amy Smart all unify to give us a three-pronged burst of terror hottie in the upcoming nightmare-fuel maker, Mirrors.

Now, I saw the trailer on this sucker not too long ago and it definitely looks like it might well qualify for creepy status.  Especially when we discover that any reflective surface qualifies as a mirror for purpose of this movie…including water.  So the synopsis makes things even scarier as, apparently, there’s some kind of evil force in the world on the other side of our own, and said evil force is using mirrors to try and get into our own world.

Read more »

(Raine Brown)

Remember back in the day when the biggest thing to worry about was a little disease called Pink Eye?  Well, your childhood fears are realized in the upcoming film of the same name, looking to make its way into our collective unconsciousness late September.

Currently, Halo-8, the company that now owns Pink Eye lock, stock and boxtop is planning a “limited theatrical release” this summer and a DVD run for everyone else September 30th– which, of course, translates literally as “you’re probably going to see it on DVD”.

Read more »

Amber Heard provides the titular terror hottie in the upcoming All the Boys Like Mandy Lane, a film that looks to at least pack some interest into its borders, and not just for the terror hottie joy, either.

Apparently, the title character was a good girl who got hot over the summer, as most of us remember some girls doing back in high school.  It’s really downright amazing sometimes how that sort of thing happens, but that’s somewhat beside the point.  Anyway, the newly hot Mandy Lane is invited out to a party on a secluded ranch for the weekend, but when she gets there, the guest list starts to shrink unexpectedly.

Read more »

If you’re familiar with the works of David Lynch at all—Eraserhead was really just the start of a long, strange trip—you’ll be terribly enthused to know that he’s got a daughter, and she’s followed in daddy’s footsteps to become a terror hottie in her own right, directing the upcoming Nagin.

Already Lynch the younger has drawn two major Bollywood figures to her camp, and is poised to unleash on us a film about women who are half snake.  Also included in the terror hottie roster is Mallika Sherawat, who’ll be handling the snake woman duties.

Read more »

(Sophie Monk)

Just on its merry way into the post-production phase is the upcoming horror bash The Hills Run Red, featuring terror hotties Sophie Monk and Janet Montgomery.

Okay, I’ll say up front that I usually enjoy Dark Castle Films productions, and the fact that The Hills Run Red is in fact from Dark Castle makes me feel a bit better despite the fact that the film was shot entirely on location in Bulgaria, a tactic that horrible Full Moon productions have been using for years.

Read more »

(Ann Henson)

As a former member of a high school marching band and recovering tuba player, I understand school bus rides.  I understand them a lot more intimately than most people, and thus I understand why they make good horror movie fodder.

The movie Alive or Dead must have been written by other school bus survivors, because they definitely got the idea too.  Starring a huge list of terror hotties including Ann Henson, Angelica Magana, and Gretchen Busenitz, Alive or Dead is about a grim discovery; an abandoned school bus with the phrase “HELP ME” written in one of the windows and a whole lot of nasty surprises in the back.  The killer responsible for said nasty surprises returns for the bus and takes its discoverer along for a ride back to the middle of a desert.  Thus, our intrepid school bus finder and some other survivors must work together to escape a madman.

Read more »